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"^V^EMOT^^ 



OR, 



BULLS OF BASHAN, 



THE BOOK OF THE PEKIOD. 



By Masdama. 



•• To hold, as "'twere, tjie mirror up to Nature ; — to nhow Virtue her own 
feature, scorn his own imaffe, and the verji arje and body of the time, his 
form and presmire. — Hamlet. 



COPYRIGHT SECURED. 



Jhe Pentral Primting House 
242 canal street. 




^ 



^^^EMOT^^ 



OR, 



BULLS OF BASHAN. 



the book of the pekiod. 
By Masdama. 



** To hold, as ^tvoere^ the mirror up to Nature ; — to ^how Virtue her own 
feature^ scorn his own image, and tJie very age and body of the time, his 
/'»rm and pressure. — Hamlet, 



COPYRIGHT SECURED, 

X 






The pENTRAL J=* R I N T I N G J4 O U S 
242 CANAL STREET' 



^^^EMOT^^ 



OR, 



BULLS OF BASHAX 



the book of the pekiod. 
By Masdama. 



■*■' To hold, as "'twere^ the mirror up to Nature ; — to ^how J^rtue her own 
feature, scorn his own image, and tJie very age and body of the time, his 
form and pressure. — Hamlet, 



COPYRIGHT SECURED, 



The Pentral, j^rinting |4ouse, 
s242 cana.l street- 






Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the Year 1874, by 

BENJAMIN BUCK, 

in the Office of Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 



OR 

BULLS OF B^SH^N. 

Jonathan makes his ignorance know more, 

Go faster, farther than all classic lore ; 

With him the now, pays better than the yore : 

This is the fledgeling of our sprightly Fanny ; 
Being a woman, she could well conceive ; 

Though our accoucherie be not owtiv canny, 
Yet her conceptions ^'chipper" and qui vive 
The chicks of her aushring were sure to Live. 

Oh, thou most courted, flattered freedom-screecher, 
Of full physique and smooth salacious feature ; 
Does freedom, then, mean license to the creature? 

One might conclude that under the broad heaven 
No other name of saving power is given ; — 
Whether in halls of wealth or haunts of penury 
Each gull swears by the h.obf name of Henry ; 
No other gospel or vaticination 
Points out the way to the improved salvation ; 
And e'en the slums, upheld by thy example 
So thinly veiVd, accept it as en sample. 

Great was Ephesian Dian in her day ; 
Greater at Sparta, when her wholesome sway 
Chastised all am'rous youth who went astray. 

But Brooklyn's demigod lays over all, 
Sun-god, or Luna-dea ; not St. Paul 
Could vie with Henry W. en role. 

Who, " all things unto all men/' and some women, 
Bland hackle-berry unto mild persimmon, — 
His flexile sail to shifting zephyrs trimming. 

Presiding o'er his ^' Congregation" numerous, 
Now serious, and now pand'ring, often humorous ; 
As lofty, yet more politic than Homerus. 



Not freedom strain'd, nor puritanic guile, 
Can veil the lib'ral dodge, nor pious wile ; — 
Kes train thy flash, oh, fashionable preacher 1 
Invoke not God, as if thou wert His teacher ; 
Or would' st essay to be His over-reacher ; 
Such prayer is mock'ry, insincere beseecher ! 

Some have pav'd Hell ; you tesselated Heaven^ 
Flesh-tinted all the courts of number seven ; 
You beautified the architraves with gilding. 
And renovated the entire building ! 

You please all Gotham ; and this being so. 
You do out-michael Michael Angelo, 
Or any other Michael, high or low. 

Halleck, for slend^ cause, tabooed '^ Red Jacket,"" 
As imcompatible with rhyme ; no bracket. 
Distich, or triplet found on which to tack it : 

And there's dead-lock in rhyme for thy cognomen. 
Whether in modern Greek, or classic Roman ; 
Thou priest of Jockies, and thou prince of Showmen t 

We cannot give it ; the whole Nine protest. 
And we are griev'd ; — it would give piquant zest. 
And od'rous sanctity to all the rest, 
•Enshrining us in fame, from East to West. 

Nor " poet's magic," nor the art Alchemic, 
May win the concord of sweet sounds to mimic 
The syllables of th}^ sweet patronymic. 

We dare not venture all, oh, Henry Double 
You, are so modest that the view might trouble 
Your saponaceous sport, you soft-soap bubble ! 

You claim to be a saint of common sense. 
Nor shall we controvert that just pretence ; 
But just suggest with studied deference. 

To see, to hear, to touch, to taste, to smell„ 



Tho' serving common-sense requirements well, 
Are not the graces which preserve from Hell ; 

01 the earth, earthy, you brave Christianity, 
With all its stiain'd assumption of urbanity, 
Can rise no higher than its spring-head Yanity 

And you confess, albeit, without compunction, 
But with a certain condescending unction. 
That notwithstanding your exalted function 
You sometimes rip an expletive, or so. 
To ease your spleen, or mitigate some woe. 
Too deep for utterance, or too sad for show. 

('^ Now the man Moses, was exceeding meek,'' 
If he upon his own hehalf may speak ; 
And never swore but in the case oblique). 

Yet that more eminent and pious David, 
His swearing was both furious and gravid ; 
What time his envoys were by Ammon shav-ed. 

And you admit, nay, boast, that you can swear, 
(But sotto-voce, lest the Lord may hear) 
And sometimes bravely give the door a slam. 
And in your humor bang a wooden damn ; 
Giving it emphasis, lest something worse 
Blasphemously explode into a curse ! 

Yet hast thou lofty precedent for this. 
When loyal Peter chides the officious miss ; 
And having " ripp'd with old Euripides,-'' 
May'st graduate thy swear to thine own ease. 
But to our theme : — the treasury is ample, 
Judg'd by the crowding figures of the sample : 

Thy great dishonored Master once was tempted 
Full forty days ; his nights were not exempted ; 
But how does thy superior merit shine. ^ 
His ordeal was brief compared with thine ; 
Not merely forty days, but forty years, 



Witness thy travail in that vale of tearSy 
The wilderness of Gotham and environs, 
Elbow'd by satyrs, and allur'd by syrens ; 
How squeezed thy tender youth thro' all the snares 
Of all the pits thy braver manhood dares ! 

The hazards of thy youth o'erpast and gone, 
The docile acolyte assumes the lawn ; 
Caird by the voice of sweetly pious people 
To minister the rites 'neath Plymouth steeple, 
The Brooklyn temple of the lesser gods. 
Where Venus languishes, while Juno nods. 

Here the great Pastor leads his blatant flock 
Within the shelt'ring clefts of Plymouth-Rock, 
While sore-head rams in jealous combat's shock 
Their ammonite contortions interlock ; 
Or some o'er taxed and heavy-horned buck 

Recalls the prestige of his youth's renown ; 
Essays to run a last and desp'rate muck. 

Albeit it win for him the martyr's crown !. 
But here, our slender powers, all too weak,, 
We yield the floor to let Victoria speak ; 
She of the flashing eye, and daring cheek ; 
The Pythia of the WoodhuU-Claflin clique : 

(Somehow, you failed to melt the Woodhull much. 
She did not fuse 'neath your magnetic touch ; 
So, sav'd her vestal cincture from your clutch : 

Tho' not mal-a-propos, 'twas mal-a-droit, 
It was not in your light, the medium saw it ; 
And would not do it worth a single doit : 

Although t'was well-proposed, that stroke of genius^ 
The entente-cordiale purpose quite ingenious ; 
You fail'd, and with a failure ignominious : 

Victoria, still victorious in that tilt, 
Preserv'd her spotless skirt from Tilton guilt ; 



She did not harmonize, and would not wilt^ 

With her affinity being still content, 
She did not burn to any marked extent, 
Nor to your well-meant overtures consent, 
This Anthrice of the sapphic element. 

Yet she with gen'rous frankness still concedes 
That, judg'd less by thy words than by thy deeds^ 
Thou art pre-emminent in social needs.) 

' Since that immense physical potency, 

' And that indomitable ur-gency, 

^ Demanding ever such intimacy, * 

^ As cultured women still accord to thee ; 

' Are of the noblest, grandest gifts of heaven 

' To thee great typal Priapidon ! given : 

' For five-and-twenty yeai's has Plymouth fed, 
' Upon the drippings from thy Jovian head ; 
' Not to descend into the lower system 
' Thou hast dispensed these treasures, and ne'er missed 
'em." 

^ Amative emanations were the dower, 

^ Of all who courted thy magnetic power ; — 

' This grand amative nature, is not then 

' The worst, but best endowment giv'n to men, 

' And chief of God's best gifts unto the race, 

' Blessing the sexes in their fond embrace ! 

'■ The tender, loving, womanly concessiveness, 

^ Responsive to thine ardor, and impressiveness ; " 

^ The love of loving, and of being lov'd," 

(The vital point by Mrs. Tilton prov'd) 

' Are not the bad things which the world supposes^ 

^ Or still affect to ban, neath pious glozes : 

^On the contrary, they are still the best, 

^ Most beautiful, divinest, loveliest, 

' Which e'er our earthly patrimony blest." 



i 



8 

^^ And so, 'twas not the amiable congressus, 
^' Of these two loves, au-dessous and au-dessus ; 
"•' Nor, that kind nature hless'd that fond embrace 
'^ With one more contribution to the race, 
'' Which ask for reprobation or disgrace : 

" But, on the other hand, quite the reverse, 

" Most laudable, and good, and reimburse, 

^' That ^den faux pas, which might have been worse ; 

'' But here, and here alone exists the curse ; 

" T'is in the false, factitious ipse dixit 

" Ajf herewith society assumes to fix it ; 

" Insisting on the genitive singulariter 

'' When God and nature indicate jjZ'wraZiYer : — 

^' It lies in the compulsory hypocrisy 

" Inwrought within our marital autocracy ; 

'' And in the lasting inj'ry to community 

'' Where private rights embarras opportunity ! " 

And now to thee, oh sainted Theodore ! 
Howe'er thy grievances we may deplore ; 
Now since thy spouse has made thee fit for heaven 
Thou knowest best how much may be forgiven : 

Four years of agony, yet not of doubt. 
Have drawn at length thy gentle spirit out. 
To dare a-V outrance the final bout ; — 
The world awaits the shock with bated breath 
To see the day of battle and of death ! " 

'^ Can'st thou draw out Leviathan with a hook ? " 
Or bring the great Un- Commoner to book ; — 
Aye, " can'st thou put a hook into his nose " 
" Or bore his jaw with the thorn " of thy expose ? 

^^ Will he make supplication unto thee, 
'' And with soft words '' essay thy clemency ! 
" Or, will he make a covenant with thee, 
^' Binding himself forever to thy knee ; " 



9 

Or if his glorious manhood so aspire, 
This god of St. Elizabeth's desire, 
Wilt thou permit his worship to climb higher ! 
'' And wilt thou play with him as with a bird, 
" Or bind him for thy maidens ? " in a word, 
" Shall th}^ companions, dress him for a feast " 
A cold collation, or a lunch, at least ; — 
Say, '^ wilt thou fill his skin with barb'd harpoons, 

'^ His head with fish-spears,'' and his heart with stunes f 
Will he appeal to thee with piteous '' suzz '' 
To stay the " neezings " of thy threaten'd buzz ? 

" Restrain thine hand ! consider," do no more ; 
Thou may'st regret the conflict ere tis o'er ; — 

'^ He makes the sea to boil as 'twere a pot," 
And thus may make Manhattan isle too hot 
For thee and thy self-vindicating plot. 

*^ Oh, that mine enemy would write a book ! " 
Well, thou has written one ; but we shall look 
For that expose with disappointed eye 
'Twill be enjoined before the ink is dry ; — 
You will at first protest and rave, and yet you shall 
Consent to see the injunction made perpetual ; 
A higher power than the Chanc'ry Court, 
Will interpose to cut the matter short ; — 
You need not gold, 'tis said ; yet graver claims 
Rise to commend your copy to the flames ; 
For you have children, and you have a heart, 
(Howbeit crush'd, beneath a wittol's pnrt) 
To screen their mother from detraction's dart ! 

Your foes haA'e laid the toils with skill and care, 
Detach'd your wife, and driLl'd her how to swear ; 
And though your saintly patience may not fail. 
Yet must you bend before the rising gale 
Or else be swept to hcav'n through Bloomingdale I 

We all concede, oh, fam'd, and rev'rend Enricus I 
Thou art a most transcendant extraordinary cuss 
Who might be aptly nam'd '^ Eroticos." 

Yet be advis'd, Cupidon, of the hour ; 
Saturnine shafts ne'er win the erotic dower ; 
'Tis but thy golden arrows which have power : 

Whether on Wilton-rug supinely wilting. 



10 

/ 

Or with the Woodhull or the Tilton tilting, 

O'er this fine patch-work piece of Plymouth quilting. 

Just one word more, Lothario, in your ear, 
Between nous nous, (a curious world might hear) 
The earthquake past, the end is very near : 

Your late recension of the. Prodigal son 
Has a most apt significancy, won, 
'Tis true, by cunning, rather overdone. 

It was not to th«^ world of fast young men 
You flung this morceau of the lib'ral pen ; 
This new-light lamp to light your free-love den : 

So much as to your own suspended cause 

You meant the moral unction ; — we may pause 

To bow before the self-implied applause ! 

You prov'd " the better fellow of the two ; " 

And Theodore has nothing left to do 

But yield the palm and " fatted calf" to you ! 

You've had "your fling ;" 'tis all in the past tense^ 
And J owl potential mood must soon go hence 
Into the grave of murder'd confidence : 

Of the dirt, dirty, your eflete virility 
And vaunted gifts of physical ability 
Are but the tromperie of blase senility ! 

We know the gravity of thy great name, 
Which is so greeted in the world's acclaim, 
Striding the top-most pinnacle of fame. 

We know bow dear unto the " Congregation,''^ 
How very precious to the Pilgrim Nation 
Is your upbolster'd saintly reputation : 

We have all due respect for Plymouth Rock, 

And deprecate the financial shock 

Which threatens to unsettle Plymouth Stock. 

Ply then thy mouth, mouth-piece of pious Plymouth, 

"Chiel of the ways of God" sublime Behemoth ! 

But with thine acts another gospel tell. 

Pleasing thy pliant auditors as well. 

We may say better, since 'tis thy commission 

To be th' Apostle of the stage transition ; 

The new-departure, later dispensation 



11 

Demanded by a juggling generation ! 

Yea, with thine acts, another doctrine teach 

Of truths too precious to be given to speech ; 

By deeds J not words, the new evangel preach ! 

The suasion of thy sensuous lips may fail, 

Then "like a cedar/' utilize thy tail ; 

^'The sinews of thy strength" being wrapp'd about, 

In this point thou 'rt invincible, no doubt ; 

If Jordan fail to satiate thy drouth. 

Long Island Sound invites thy liq'rish mouth ! 

Thou hierophant of license priest and clown. 
Whose well-turn'd mots delight the flippant town, 
Turning the sanctities all upside down ! 

So Jocko scales the tall aspiring mast, 
To show admiring crowds his genious vast ; 
And tho' with brisk ambition he ascend, 
Disgust still rises with his caudal end ! 

Thou later Apis ; sacred Mophian Bull ! 
Whose signs being perfect, and indicia full. 
Make thee idol of the '- Congregation," 
And golden calf of modern veneration : 

Or like that comely Bos at Minos' court, 
Enamour'd Pasiphae's dernier resort ; 
Causing much scandal, and a sad report 
Against Daedalus who work'd the wires 
To gratify Pasiphae's desires — 
(But then all Crete, were immemorial liars : 

The thing was compass'd by the artist's skill, 
And Paisphae was pacified at will. 
Getting, 'tis said, her Minotaurian fill ! 

Now that all Bashaw elevates its bawl, 

St. Theodore — who plays the cow-herd's role 

In this divertisement — goes to the wall. 

Yea, to the wall goes godly Theodore, 
Cow'd and distraught by the bucolic roar ; 
Whence he may ape Daedalus no more ! 

Then may his lithe Europa hope to find 
Upon the shore some Zeus, tame and kind, 
To swim with her in safety unto Crete, 
Long Branch, or other midsummer retreat. 
Where mingling with the meadow-scented herd 



12 

Bejoin her god in dalliance long deferred ; 
And in a cloud of saintly frankincense, 
Sail all the heaven of pleasureable sense ; 
Forgetting Theo, and her "maiden flame'' 
To riot in a womanhood of shame ; 
This " white-souled" vestal and '' concessive" dame ! 
Who gives one half her heart, and all her lyra, 
While with calm front, persistent as Sapphira 
She swears to each, and all, and ev'rything 
To screen herself, and her deposed king ; 
^^ She has loved much," yet this uncandid l3ias, 
Bodes danger to herself and Ananias ! 
Now unto you, God-mocking " Congregation," 
And Christian templars of free-love persuasion. 
Ye errant champions of " concessive'' beauty, 
Sworn to the cross of pleasure, as of duty ; 
^^ I have somewhat" to say, (however bold, 
To quote the strain of Patmos' exile old), 
"Why can you not be, then, or hot or cold ?" 
If on cool Christian chastity intent. 
Why clothe your consecrated Plymouth tent 
With such luxurious waste of ornament ? 
Is it a love-pavillion of the gods; — 
Or Lust-Haus, for tht. pleasure-seeking squads 
Who throng its aisles, or press its cushion'd pews, 
Or lade its altars with the gaudiest hues 
Won from the garden or conservatoire, 
Sweeted-scented off 'rings to your great Bashaw ; 
Who most benignly flings his 'kerchief down 
As gage d' amour to all the blessed town ! 
Why to a pampered and false shepherd cling, 
raise to his God, himself, and all the " Ring ! " 
The mutual admiration of your scheme. 

Weak in the bottom, fails at length to hold ; 
And the rose-tinted promise of your dream. 

Fades neath the Light ;— "would ye were hot or cold !" 
Were there one honest soul in all your lot, 
To heed the Pythia's oracle, God-wot, 
Ye might decide the question, cold, or hot ; — 
But since being fleshly, ye would pass for fish. 
Or fowl or " butter, in a lordly dish ; " 
^' Lukewarm," as well as " common and unclean ; " 
^' We spew ye out ; " and wash our mouths, serene ! 

Finis. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



015 775 



321 6 I 



